Several years ago, during a heat wave like the one we’ve just had, I sought the cool refuge of the library.  Behind the desk sat an acquaintance, a man in his sixties or seventies, slightly corpulent, always smiling. 

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“So Ken,” I greeted him, “how are you?”  He shifted his weight, mopped his  brow, heaved a deep sigh, and said without the trace of a smile, “My wife says I’ve lost the will to live.”

Well yes, exactly.

The only other personal weather story I have dates back to 1979 when I was working on the Thai/Cambodian border in refugee camps.  Some of my coworkers were nuns, the Medical Mission Sisters.  Complaining is not part of the ecclesiastical culture, so the only reference to the weather—hot, heavy, tropical heat—the nuns allowed themselves was the remark:  “And on the seventh day, God invented Coke”.

 I don’t like the heat; I’ve never liked the heat; and this is partly why I moved to Vermont:  I didn’t expect to be ambushed by high mercury.

And so below is a bouquet of weatherisms to while away the warm while waiting for the winter……

The pessimist complains about the weather; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts his sails.     William Arthur Head

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.    Rudyard Kipling

Pray don’t talk to me about the weather Mr. Worthing.  Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain they mean something else.  Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Ernest

Good weather doesn’t make make good sailors.    Chris, a friend

It’s best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.    Mark Twain

Whoever says happiness comes with sunshine has never danced in the rain.   Anon

There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.   Ranulph Fiennes, explorer & adventurer

Don’t knock the weather.  If it didn’t change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn’t start a conversation.   Kim Hubbard

It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.   Charles Martin, Chasing Fireflies

Rainbows never want to come in out of the rain.   Anthony T. Hincks

I’ve lived in a good climate and it bores the hell out of me.  I like weather rather than climate.   John Steinbeck

I’m leaving because the weather is too good.  I hate London when it’s not raining.   Groucho Marx


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